What We Need
by Jegrde
Summary: Spoilers to WWWant. Can be read as single story. Between his newly cheating wife and the lovable Reid, Morgan is being selfish. Reid, the attractive asset to kidnapping he is, suffers the aftermath of his recent abduction. While Reid falls apart, Hotch only tried to help. To save each other they have to ask exactly WWNeed. Secrets just might break the team. MXR struggle.
1. What We Wanted

What We Need; Review

████████ **What We Wanted ████████**

**Disclaimer and Summery;**

I OWN NOT THE CHARACTERS, NOR THE MEDIA THEY ARE FOUND IN, EVEN IF THEY'D MAKE GREAT PETS.

This is a recap chapter for anyone who did not, or does not want to read WWW/ What We Want. It also includes the summary for this story in more detail as well as questions you'll want to ask yourself!

READ READ READ.

This chapter contains some serious spoilers from What We Want, the first title. I suggest reading that prior to this for a more fufilled experience. If you alread read it or don't want to, this is sort of a recap of the other story title. Enjoy.

████████ **Story Review ████████**

Derek Morgan had proposed, to Reid's dismay. Head over heels, he rushed the wedding date with this mysterious woman. The team rarely knew her, but couldn't do anything but support the couple. Even the love struck genius didn't complain when he should have.

Just under a year of knowing each other has Derek married. The woman named Rachel, upon their wedding day, found herself with a lopsided wedding party. The team wasn't in the wedding, but occupied the front rows.

All but Reid. Reid was his bestman.

Only, this wedding didn't have a happy tale. Reid went missing before the wedding assembly, no one knowing where or why the other wasn't at attendance. Everyone, mostly Derek, was concerned over the lost man. He knew Reid enough to know he wouldn't have backed out silently.

Once married, that's right, married! Derek was conflicted in going on his honeymoon or staying to help find Reid. After a small fight with his new wife, he chose to stay behind to help the team find his best friend.

Rachel, his wife who felt betrayed, went ahead of him cursing him for his loyalty to his team over her. She vowed that if Morgan hadn't picked the plane ride with her to Hawaii, then she'd find some other way to occupy the vacation.

Morgan submerges himself into the case of finding Reid. Looks like there was an expiration on Reid's abduction and they find themselves within hours of losing all of Rekd.

Both physically and mentally.

While the culprit screamed Bloody Mary about Reid's final words, he enrages the one guy he shouldn't. "I LOVE THE GROOM" was the second hand confession from the suspect, a verse from Reid. By doing so, he clued in both Rossi who was interogating him, and Derek who was easedropping. Of course Aaron needed to know, leaving all three with knowledge of Reid's feelings.

When they find Reid, who had been abducted by a psychotic and revenge ridden unsub, Morgan puts his feelings aside for his friend to join his wife in Hawaii as planned. Only after punching the abductor, testing his license to drive anything, and saving the genius.

Now that Derek, Hotch, and Rossi are aware of Reid's feelings, trouble seems to be brewing with conflict. It seems Aaron is furious with how Morgan is handling his one sided relationship with Reid as things get slightly more complicated.

Thing like walking in on an affair with Morgan's newly wedded wife on their honeymoon in Hawaii. Morgan goes to catch up to Rachel once Reid was safe and sound. Sure his emotions are jostled about how he feels about the people in his life, but Morgan is surprised more than angry at her.

What does that mean for our one sided lover Reid?

How and who was this new guy that Rachel beded so fast?

Is it enough for a divorce or will they try to patch things up?

How is Reid going to cope when he wakes up tramatized?

How will he get back to work when the mentalist keeps denying him access?

Can Derek convince Hotch that they can stay professional after everything?

What's Hotch so mad about anyways?

**Most impotantly.**

Is what they want more important than what they need?

████████ **From the Author ████████**

Hope this gets you excited to read this story. If you havent already seen/read WWW then this will get you through that awkward transaction of the two titles. Thanks for reading. 8Db

**Love your Jeggy**


	2. Wishful Dreams

What We Need; Chapter 1

████████ **Wishful Dreams ████████**

**Disclaimer and Summery;**

I OWN NOT THE CHARACTERS, NOR THE MEDIA THEY ARE FOUND IN, EVEN IF THEY'D MAKE GREAT PETS.

████████ **Story ████████**

Reid laid curled in bed, his door ajar so the light could filter in from the hall way. A shadow crept from the entrance of the bedroom to the edge of his bed. He was curious to whom was in his apartment, but there wasn't the urge to panic as the bed started to dip in form of someone sitting on the edge. A warm palm brushed over his forehead, brushing the stray strands of hair back until it stopped at the back of his head. A thumb slowly caressed the side of is temple in a plea to wake him.

"Reid?"

"Nnn…" he argued in a whimpering struggle to remain asleep as he shifted his body. He curled and snuggled into the warm back side of the figure, the radiating heat soothing him back asleep. The other tried to wake him again.

"Don't want to." His protest was absurd, he couldn't sleep forever, even if he wished it. Why, he couldn't quiet remember, it was all fuzzy in his mind. The intrusive person on his bed chuckled and the caressing hand moved from the back of his skull to under his chin. Reluctantly his neck started to crane from the fingers gently moving his face upwards. Before the question lazily slipped past his lips, another set of lips slipped onto his.

Interested a little more in waking up, Reid rolled onto his back as the other shadow followed him to hover overhead. It wasn't an ominous feeling, but a gentle and delicate manoeuvre that nestled the two bodies side by side on the bed, an arm holding the man's torso over Reid so not to crush the younger. Both grew wide smiles as their lips pressed together, one encouraging the other.

"I wish every wake up call was this good…"

There was a reply, but he couldn't understand it. Who cared when you had a handsome pair of loving peckers on you? Surely not he. His arguement was made valid by a moist tongue that tickled past his parted jaw. A nervous quiver of breath was drawn in and then released twice as slowly, dispersed in pauses between tongues frolicking inside each other's mouths.

The hot and wet feeling, the slightly thick air you breathed in as the other breathed out, and the sound of pleasure vibrating in soft moans between the two bodies, it was amazing. Just when his heart was about to pound all the way out his throat, he opened his eyes and wished he hadn't.

There was only his heavy breathing, only the taste of morning breath to greet him. There was no warmth beside him and definitely no Derek Morgan. It had all been a cruel dream and it left him rather irritated, flustered, and bothered.

Grudgingly he pulled back the covers to his bed, looking at his alarm clock. There wasn't enough time to try and go back to sleep. Even if he could, he wouldn't, it was hard enough when every time you started to doze off, you panicked at the thought of a coffin surrounding you. He certainly could add claustrophobic to his list if he hadn't already pegged himself for one.

It had been two weeks since his nightmare started. If you wanted to get technical, it had been months, many in fact. The day that Derek Morgan announced his engagement. His best friend and his secret crush (which was not so secret anymore from Hotch and Rossi), had met Rachel.

Rachel was, well for starters, a woman. A beautiful one at that. Self reliant, a little controlling at times, but most importantly, a woman. She had met Derek and the two proved to be better for each other. Derek proposed, a little too quickly in his opinion, and were out on a honeymoon in Hawaii as of date. _Technically_, on their way home from Hawaii by now, but then _technically_, he wasn't really keeping track.

Denial? It was better that way.

Even after the cold shower he knew today was not going to be fun. After a week of 'relaxing' at home and a following week at the 'psychologist', he had been denied his return in routine.

Doctor Spencer Reid was unfit for duty.

Why? The enormous black circles under his eyes, more so than usual. The fact that he could only recall half of a conversation, like a black out of sleep walking. All the nightmares that could have and did happen were haunting him to the point he was unable to do his job, the one he loved.

Oh, and today was his re-examination.

He brushed his teeth, skipped breakfast once again, and checked over his attire. Everything was in place, the dark circles still looming like bags under his eyes. He had been given sleeping pills, but he'd never take them. He was persistent after the Hankel incident to never require medication again. Sleeping pills were no different, hell, he wouldn't even take Tylenol when he had headaches.

He took a ragged and stiff deep breath and locked his apartment door behind him. Today he had to pass. He needed to go back to filling his head with work and sleeping on plane rides. He needed the smell of printed paper and that hot press of freshly copied profiles. He wanted to go back to work and pretend like everything was normal. Even Derek, he'd be normal and in return nothing would stress their relationship of friendship.

Satchel to his side he made his way to work.

████████ **From the Author ████████**

A bit of stress disorder anyone? If you read WWW, you'll see some great Reid emotion inflicted goodies coming. Wouldn't be a good fanfiction without a little Reid torture. Maybe a lot. My measuring cup broke so I'm playing it by ear. xD

Thanks to anyone who followed over from WWW, lets have another good story together. :heart:

**Love your Jeggy**


	3. Welcome Back

What We Need; Chapter 2

████████ **Welcome Back ████████**

**Disclaimer and Summery;**

I OWN NOT THE CHARACTERS, NOR THE MEDIA THEY ARE FOUND IN, EVEN IF THEY'D MAKE GREAT PETS.

████████ **Story ████████**

It was around one in the afternoon before Morgan was able to worm his way into the bullpen after his vacation. The sound of hushed voices talking, the large paper scanner beeping, the smell of cheap no named coffee brewing in the break room, and the familiar faces popping up from cubical work; all eased his wounds. Ones he didn't have any intention of mentioning.

As it was, his honeymoon was nothing like he had dreamed it to be. He had thought he had found the woman who could understand him, his needs, and to overcome obstacles together. He pondered if their relationship had been too perfect. They hadn't really ever fought, and only now it occurred to him, he wasn't begrudging as much as he ought to have been.

Derek was hurt, a little, his trust had been abused. He was frustrated and surprised. It made him realise that he had been in love with Rachel's social life more than Rachel herself. He loved that they could go to bars together, albeit Derek was the one urging them to go, then they would flirt like fools with others and not get jealous. Maybe that should have been his first clue.

He loved the serious side of things, when she made appointments in her book and it had to be followed to the letter. She had a slight boarderline disorder that way. She could plan a whole day out to keep them busy and this was when things changed. When the book was set aside.

When the planner was retired for the day, like on rare weekends and their honeymoon, she was a little more demanding then usual. At some point, he imagined this was something he started to dislike, but ignored. He was getting older. Didn't want to spend his life alone romantically.

When Derek wanted to do something else or had to be called into work, Rachel urged him to go, but she had her planner to keep her busy. He liked this trait after seeing what Hailey had put Hotch through. All the guilt and overtime really tore him apart. He knew he could never put up with what Hotch had, child regardless.

Two days. It took her two days after she arrived in Hawaii to drown herself into the nightlife and take another man home to her hotel suite. She had been wearing her damned ring when he walked in on them, another low blow to his pride.

He could remember it clearly. A vivid memory replaying over and over. He wondered if this was Spencer's burden of everything he saw, having it clearly flash before your eyes knowing the feelings that washed over you and how it made you hurt.

He felt suddenly irritated at the fact that she had made him choose between her and his friends. Reid had been kidnapped and she demanded him to ignore the urgency of the situation. She wasn't usually demanding like that, in fact he was willing to overlook it in some aspect.

However, she had the gull to tell him that if he didn't leave his team to find his best friend for him, then she would make no regrets in leaving him behind and going to Hawaii. Well, looks like she hadn't been bluffing. A man she had flown to Hawaii with had sweet talked his way into their bed. Had he been on that plane, it never would have happened, so she said.

He had stormed from the hotel, his hand throbbing from hitting the walls and doors along the way. He needed to find a gym in this damned resort. Needed to exert his energy and feelings the only way he knew how. Sports, work, anything physical. Some might speculate that his was why alot of people feared his temper.

This time his anger wasn't so much directed to what had happened, but more to his own annoyance of the lack of emotion following what he saw. He had worked his ass off, provided for his newly wedded wife, just saved his best friend from being buried alive, to come to Hawaii and witness an affair.

This of all things. How was it even plausible for things to go from perfect to absolutely down right wrong? So what if he missed a day or two of their honeymoon, did that give her any right to go sleep with the next man that showed up at her door? To have sex in their hotel room, their honeymoon suite, and to catch them in the middle of it?

Who was this woman after all?

It was like everything he had felt for her was washed away on the spot. He was speechless for a good ten minutes, her wide eyes and gapping mouth. Her bare skin exposed and brown hair fussed. She pounded on the man over her, her fist trying to get his attention, to stop the atrocious thing they were indulging in. He had walked off after his eyes met hers, then his, then the flurry of the surroundings as he took off.

In the end he had went to the bar, gotten somewhat drunk, and passed out at the pool side in a lounge chair. Not exactly the smartest thing to do, but he had little choices, he surely wasn't going back to that room.

The cool air had been what woke him up in the morning, the sun just touching the sky pink and gold. He was waiting for Rachel to find him, but it hadn't seemed to have worked. They didn't meet until later that night when Derek wasn't willing to spend another night poolside.

They wasted the entire honeymoon snapping at each other with sarcasm and dislike. It was absolutely foreign to Morgan to fight with his wife, he'd stomp away in frustration and try again in a few hours to talk with her.

Each time it was the same until they finally gave up and spent the last handful of days in Hawaii separately. The plane ride home was spent in silence and the drive home was tense. When they finally got into the door and Derek was getting ready to come in to work, Rachel took her luggage and climbed into a taxi.

That's roughly what had happened. He had been reflecting on it all the way from the ride to work, up the elevator, and to his desk. He sat down and let out a sigh, Emily appearing from the other side of the work station to grin at him.

"I see someone's still in Hawaii? No details, please. I don't want to hear you boasting about that 'swag' of yours anytime soon."

She had meant no harm in saying it, but he felt a little grouchy none the less. He ignored it, but apparently that was the wrong decision. Immediately she had picked up on something, because she was wearing that 'oh no, don't tell me' sad, yet digging expression. He hated that suspicious, yet undeniably correct, intuition about those negative personal affair issues.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Talk about what?"

Morgan glanced up at Penelope who had, in all her glorious colours, arrived to greet her delicious cupcake home. She looked innocently puzzled from her coworkers before quirking her smile and changing the subject at Derek's displeased look of frustration.

"Tell me, my Hawaiian baked delight, was the coconut milk as creamy as the buff surfers you see on television?"

Garcia's body mock quivered at the long memory of fantasies she likely played out while her eye candy was away. He couldn't help but chuckle a little. Of course that would be the first question she'd ask.

"Babygirl, I wouldn't want to spoil it for you."

He should have know he wasn't going to get away scott free. The entire team were profilers, professionals, smart and cunning at times. They would know almost instantly something was a miss in his wedded life. Evidently, being married just made things complicated.

Emily wanted to hear about the sights and sounds, Garcia wanted the native hunks, Rossi probably wanted to listen to the food he ate, Jenifer would likely want to know the juicy romance that Derek was infamous for. Hotch would probably act disinterested and pass him a dismissive smirk before pushing work on him, and Reid…

He wasn't sure what Reid would want to talk about. At least not anymore. Had he continued to be oblivious to the young doctor's feelings he'd have known exactly what would occur. His overly active mind would only drip information, less listening to the stories brought back home.

He would probably include random geography facts and folk tales from a book he read once upon a time or a document from Discovery. A rather one sided conversation that he'd still enjoy. The way his vacation and honeymoon had gone, he'd probably learn more about Hawaii listening to Reid than having gone there.

Speaking of the devil…

Morgan's attention turned to the elevator as he curiously watched a rare sight. His eyes were easily drawn past the gathering friends to the individual striding a little too wildly towards Hotch's office.

He frowned at the younger male's posture, his irritated expression, and the protest he heard before he slammed the door shut to lock the voices away. It was rare to see Reid so upset in public. He had almost knocked someone out of his path at the rate he had been pushing forwards towards their leader's lair.

"HOTCH! Do something, this isn't fair! " SLAM.

What the hell was that? Derek looked up at the two woman who had been with him, only Emily seemed as shocked about it as he was. His eyes meet with Garcia's and she adverted them, trying to hide the fact she had known what the likely commotion was about.

He couldn't ignore the display he had witnessed so easily. It was Reid after all. The usually bright and passive member of their team. It wasn't because of the latest events he was curious. Maybe a little. He gave her 'that look', the one that said if she didn't spill her beans, she'd be denied playful banter for a week.

"I take it our genius failed again…" she offered a little guilty. She didn't always play around with the team's computer logs, but when she did, she spied every detail to a fault. She wasn't a profiler like the others. She needed to know what was going on within the team when her only gossip channel, a dark, handsome man, was at the time on vacation.

"So Reid isn't exactly doing so good," she admitted, drawing those puppy eyes of Derek's in. She let things spill from her lip glosssed mouth, everything she knew about their baby brother's saved records. She was already feeding Hotch a little candy on the side, mostly of her own concern, so what would it hurt?

████████ **From the Author ████████**

I'm sorry if the first few chapters seem a little dull, but this story really lacks the adventure and action the other one had. It's just a lot of drama llama stuff. I feel like I'm ripping you off and might have been the cause of my neglect a little? Ah, but none the less, thank you, thank you, thank you, for all your reviews! It looks like a lot of you have continued reading and it makes me very happy!

This might be a long tug of war with these stubborn characters and it looks like I've stuffed Rachel in the far corner away from your tomato throwing reach. She's more hated than the unsub really. xD

Oh and the whole 'Swag' was on purpose. As some refer it to 'Secretly We Are Gay'. Not sure how accurate it is, but let's go with it.

Lots of Reid coming soon!

**Love your Jeggy**


	4. Cry for Help

What We Need; Chapter 3

████████ **Cry for Help ████████**

**Disclaimer and Summery;**

I OWN NOT THE CHARACTERS, NOR THE MEDIA THEY ARE FOUND IN, EVEN IF THEY'D MAKE GREAT PETS.

████████ **Story ████████**

"Hotch! _Do_ _something_, this isn't fair!" **SLAM**.

Hotch's door slammed urgently after a rattled doctor had stumbled inside. If not for the foreshadowing complaint the other made before the action, surely he would have jumped at the noise.

It wasn't often that Reid would make a scene at work, or at all for the matter. He had been out of line to come bursting inside like he had. He put his pen down upon the paper-messed desk. For all the stress he knew Reid was in, he let it slide for now.

"Is everything alright?" Aaron frowned up at the other, already knowing what this was about. He had dealt with a fuming Reid already this week.

Reid, who started to loom over the other side of the desk anticipated a solution to his problems. So far he and Rossi were the only ones who knew of the issue Reid was facing (aside from a sneaky diva). The obstacle that stood in Reid's way of coming back to work.

"Look at this!" the fussing brunet dropped a folder he had tucked securely under his arm until that moment. Aaron hesitated only to observe his subordinate pace back and forth silently for guidance. Taking up the folder, the papers jostled inside from the rough treatment, he skimmed the words in order not to keep the genius waiting. As he expected, the letters formed the formidable 'unfit for duty' sentence.

"Reid…?" The tone that he had used saying the agent's name must have sounded as grim as the reality, Spencer leaping to defend himself.

"I've done everything right, what else do you want me to do, do you want me to crawl into a storage box to prove I'm perfectly fine? It looks like that's the only choice I have, because no one I talk to other than you will listen. I answered their questions, I did their evaluations, and there is absolutely no reason why I can't come back to work!"

"Reid-" Aaron was cut short to his irritation. If Reid was difficult to handle normally, when he got into a tantrum it was as if playing with fire. The genius had enough knowledge equipped to slash anyone's ego down. Sadly, he couldn't allow Reid to disrespect him like he was, hesitating to resort to his stern side.

"I've been kidnapped before, this is nothing new, you know that. I've overcome worse treatment, but for what ever reason, this evaluation went so far as to use a lie detector.

I don't like the dark, because I can't see, not because I was in that basement. I never really liked small places to begin with either, it's not just because I've spent a few hours in- _that_. Tell me, Hotch, how is this a fair evaluation, why couldn't you-"

"Reid!" Aaron lowered his voice into a commanding tone as he pushed his chair out from his desk. He didn't like to see Spencer so distressed liked this, but he was being pressured from his superiors. He couldn't do the evaluation himself, he was too connected with his team to be allowed.

"Reid, I've told you why I'm not allowed to evaluate you." he calmly reminded the other, walking around the desk and halting the other's back-and-forth ramblings. He put a hand on the doctor's shoulder feeling the other squirm with dislike. He gently lead him to sit down in one of the chairs before sitting across from him.

"Listen. I know you don't like to discuss what happened to a complete stranger, but it's the only way to assure that you wont hurt others or yourself while working-"

He quickly held up his hand to cut of the protest that Spencer was about to make.

"Your answers to the questions are text book, your lie detector test proved that you answered the right questions with the right answer, but you lied Reid."

Reid's eyes diverted to the floor as he reflected this. It might have been a little true, he might have answered knowing what he needed to say, but he wasn't emotionally in tune with those answers. He did lie, but not really…

"Just because you know the answer, doesn't mean you are fit to come back to work. You're smart Reid, but you're still in the after shock." Aaron paused as rounded eyes peered up at him with hurt. He sighed under his breath.

"You haven't failed anything, you'll be able to retest in a week, but I suggest you start taking the sessions with your psychologist seriously, or you'll only have the same result."

Hotch witnessed the waves of emotion hiding behind the clouded eyes that wanted to water. He felt guilty, helpless for his co-worker, and at a loss of how else to approach the issue. He could tell the pressure of failing his evaluation was causing even more stress on the doctor's already juggled mind.

It looked like Reid had two, three tops, of sleep. He had a small nick on his jaw line from liking shaving for the first in many days. He looked like he was running on what ever fast food leftovers Garcia forced him to eat last Friday.

He couldn't help but brush his hand over the younger's shaggy hair as he stood up from his spot. He could tell Reid still felt like no one was listening to him. He was trying to tell Hotch that he didn't want to admit the unsettled feelings in him and he didn't want to see the psychologist like he was supposed to.

It was difficult when you knew exactly the questions and answers to the sessions. As it was, pity wasn't what he wanted to give Reid, but he was making it difficult. Reid must have read this in the moment, his brash and aggressive attitude diminishing.

"I'll try…" Reid muttered feeling let down. Even if Aaron was trying to help, he only seemed like he was being pushed away. It made him feel more lonely than he had while sitting at home.

It was like he did something in life and now he was being punished for it. As if his team mates no longer needed him now that he couldn't get himself organized

. Logically he knew it wasn't so, but his mind wasn't all that reliable these days. He tried working from home behind Aaron's back, but all he could do was synchronize with the scenario and he'd be back in that coffin.

Reid was slowly suffocating and this time there wasn't padded walls of a coffin to validate it. He sometimes felt like the smell of urine and mildew followed him home.

No matter how hard he scrubbed and how much soap he used, they all could still smell him. He wanted to go home and curl up away from everyone, but when he did his mind would circle back around, wishing to be busy with a distraction.

"Thanks, sorry to bother you. I'm going now."

Aaron walked Reid to the door, but didn't feel like sending him back out there alone. Instincts told him to hug the slender body before him, to tell him it was alright, but then there was that professionalism. The part of him that nagged him to hurry up with his paper work so he could go home to his own dysfunctional family. He sighed as Reid opened the door and didn't look him in the eyes on his way past.

For Reid, if he didn't get the help he needed, then he was sure to collapse sooner or later. The hardest part was not knowing the cure. He nor Rossi could comfort him enough, they tried. As he was standing there watching Reid shuffle his depressive stature out, his eyes met with the team's equally helpless stares and Morgan.

████████ **From the Author ████████ **

Just to clear the air;

Hotch, Morgan, Rossi, and Reid all know of Reid's feelings towards Morgan. Rossi and Morgan were told via the criminal in WWW, Rossi telling Hotch later about it. Reid doesn't know Morgan knows and it is unclear if Morgan knows that Hotch knows.

Reid needs to take an evaluation test to return to work, which is what he failed.

Unknown to anyone, Garcia was snooping around in the team's files while Morgan was away, feeling slightly neglected. Garcia has been going to look after Reid, feeding him meals when he didn't return her calls once she found out.

Emily and JJ are the only ones not in the drama-lama swimming pool, while last chapeter Garcia was tempted to tell Morgan and Emily about Reid's condition. This however is unresolved when we switched to Hotch's POV-ish?

Now Reid just has to leave the building without being caught by Morgan.

**Love your Jeggy**


	5. Over Protective

What We Need; Chapter 4

████████ **Over Protective ████████**

**Disclaimer and Summery;**

I OWN NOT THE CHARACTERS, NOR THE MEDIA THEY ARE FOUND IN, EVEN IF THEY'D MAKE GREAT PETS.

████████ **Story ████████**

Morgan's head shot up at the sound of Hotch's door opening. The open click seemed to be echoing in his head, making him forget any piled up work that was in front of him. He had been chewing pens and tapping fingers in anticipation to what was up with his little genius. It bothered him greatly to see the man in such a fuss.

Garcia had mentioned that Reid wasn't back to work yet. Reid would come at least everyother day in an attempt to wrangle work from Hotch. Garcia hadn't told him much more than that, although she gave off a feeling that it wasn't the full story.

He wondered why Garcia had looked so guity after Reid had gone into their leader's office. She was definitely keeping something from him and by now, the secrets in his life were becoming overwhelming, it was frustrating.

Reid's figure was the one to emerge first. Reid's slow and defeated retreat was silent. His eyes scanned the appearance of the twenty something doctor, still as awkward as always. The doctor's sight was almost glued to the floor when passing others.

His attention swiveled, the boss standing at the door frame like a defeated mentor. It took less than a fool to figure they had a discussion which hadn't fancied a happy ending. It must have been then, when Aaron's gaze jumped ahead of the path Reid was taking, Morgan's eyes connecting back in greeting.

████**Space████**

It was apparent that Reid had yet to see a small smile coming to Derek's features as he got closer. Aaron felt the urge to glare at Morgan who stood from his desk to meet him. Too soon had he returned and already looked as though he was about to meddle with Reid, even after knowing how he felt.

Feeling displeased that Derek was there, in the moment Reid was already wounded, he intervened. In a hasty decision Aaron was calling out for Morgan to join him in his office, the stern and grim blank page consuming his face.

Only after the words sounded into the bullpen did he realize how childish it was. He was playing a strange role, trying to keep the two of them apart. It had backfired. Things felt worse when he realized Reid's attention had flipped to where he was walking and whom he was heading towards.

The leader didn't need to see the panic in the younger's eyes, nearly feeling the back facing him stiffen with anxiety. All three of them paused in suspense, Reid looking at Morgan, Morgan looking at Reid, and Hotch eyeing both of them.

When Reid finally became animated again he side stepped to the right of a woman and started to change his exit strategy only giving Morgan an acknowledging nod. A small and shallow feeling of relief was filling the rigid leader's chest, soon faulting as Morgan hopped from his spot and walked briskly to cut him off.

Again Aaron found himself holding his breath as though he was about to witness a car crash and he wasn't able to stop it. He watched as Morgan met Reid by the elevator. He had been so close to leaving too. Before the genius could even reach the button, calling the metal box to the floor, Morgan was in front of him.

There was fear washing over Hotch, not because a suspect had a hostage, but because he knew the issue Reid was dealing with. He kept muttering in the back of his thoughts for Morgan to leave the doctor alone, alas he hadn't gotten the hint, Reid adverted being within a half meter radius.

It had taken Aaron a while to catch on to what was bothering Reid aside for Morgan's brash arrival. He first noticed it after leaving the hospital. They had talked, very briefly, about Reid's insistence of an odour following him around. He had been fine in the hospital due to the high stench of bleach, but in the car together he wouldn't ride unless the windows were down. He constantly kept a distance up or was nervous when he had to be close to someone in fear he smelled.

Reassuring him time after time that he hadn't smelt of any obscene scent, he finally was able to get the man to be in a room with out a window cracked or checking the ventilation. Now Aaron feared that Morgan would up and make matters worse, by the way Reid was responding, it appeared so.

Morgan on the other hand was oblivious to Reid's needs until someone tried to leave the elevator and Derek was forced to move away. Hotch narrowed in on this chance, one to get them away from each other, one for Reid to escape. None of them were ready to confront reality yet.

"**Morgan**. Now."

His voice caught the attention of the man long enough for Reid to slip into the elevator. He watched as Morgan gave him a defiant look that told him to hold his horses before turning back to the escaping doctor. He knew if Morgan got inside the elevator alone with Reid there might be damage done. He was about to call out one last time, a roar to stop the FBI agent in his tracks, but Rossi beat him to it.

Rossi had magically shown up from coming out of the break room with his coffee. He sported a smile as he clasped a hand over Morgan's shoulder and held him in place while the door shut. Morgan looked at Rossi with suspicion and other emotions as far as Hotch could tell. Rossi probably asked him how his honeymoon was in an attempt to save Reid. Somewhere between Rossi's humor, Derek leered over at him.

Returning to his office, Hotch moved behind his desk to await the brawny coworker. Derek was clearly irritated at him, maybe as much as he was with Morgan. It didn't take too long for the mass of muscle to work a path to him.

"You mind telling me what all that was about?" His greeting wasn't a pleasant one, but he figured it wouldn't be.

"What are you referring to?" he replied feigning innocence with a cold mask.

"How about you being so persistent when I'm trying to talk to Reid?" the voice replied, looming over his desk for him to look up. It seemed his desk was a pawn in everyone's attempt to challenge him. How come every time someone wanted their way, they'd always come into his office with a scowl and loom?

He wasn't as strict as to let reasonable arguments slide, it was just that half of the arguments were pointless when there was more logical solutions, right? It wasn't him going soft on his team, or getting too old to be intimidating. Aaron sighed and put down his pen that he acquired to appear impatient and busy, when really, all he was doing was filling out lesser reports from Morgan's absence.

"Reid is not your concern at the moment.-"

Aaron assumed this was about where Morgan zoned out on his lecture. In his own words he was trying to get the FBI agent back into the swing of work after his lovey-dovey vacation time he cashed in.

In the most, the other nodded and sulked after settling down into a chair. He could tell Derek didn't want to be lectured and the attitude he was giving it wasn't helping his case. He even had the gull to let his eyes wander boldly around the room before returning and interrupting him.

"Is Reid not back from leave yet?"

Morgan seeing Hotch almost choke on his words was the first sign. He effortlessly corrected himself, but it seemed the nearly bald agent had caught on. You didn't get into the FBI on average intelligence after all.

"Is it something he's struggling with while I was gone?"

"Morgan, Reid failed his evaluation, he needs time to adjust."

"I don't get it? He's been through worse."

"I don't want you bothering him at this stage."

"But Garcia told me she's going there tonight?"

"What Garcia does in her own free time is different from someone who just got back from vacation."

That seemed to have shut the other up, to his relief. He was sure he was in a losing battle if Morgan was determined to disobey his orders. There was a glint in the pair of dark orbs that told him. It had been there on several occasions that he had purposely disobeyed commands or just his wishes in general. He had to convince himself Derek was in it for the greater good, but he wondered if he knew exactly his position in this.

Did he know that Reid muttered Derek's name while unconscious in the hospital? Did he know that hurt expression he gave at Morgan's desk when he was here this past week? Did he know how unfair Hotch thought it was for Reid or how silently angry he was at Morgan for unthinkingly doing what he always does.

He cared for Morgan like the rest of the team, but damn it, sometimes the man only thought of himself. He was afraid he was giving his own emotions away when Morgan frowned at him. However he wasn't expecting Derek to ask for more leave.

"Rachel and I are having a hard time settling back in after our trip, I have jetlag and she's wondering if I could get a few more days off?"

Aaron paused wondering where the 'I' came from. Shouldn't it have been 'we have jetlag'? "I understand. We don't have a case, I suppose your paper work could wait. If we get called out of state I can ask to have the recruit Strauss sent in to replace you and Reid a little longer. Three days."

That seemed to sustain Morgan's argument as he accepted the new time for leave. He doubted he could get the situation with his wife settled properly in three days, but at least he could get himself organized emotionally, among other things. Things that were more important than his drama filled life, such as Reid's inability to pass the evaluation.

Things such as Reid's forgotten bag.

████**Space████**

While his eyes had been drifting and sulking at the lecture being dealt, he noticed the satchel sitting by the door. He knew Reid better than to _forget _his own bag. Warning lights were popping up all over the place. The genius must have thrown it down when first entering, tossing the documents on the man's desk.

Since then he had been trying to divert Hotch's attention on him so he could sly the bag on his way out. In a way he wouldn't be going to visit the genius, but to return what was forgotten. Morgan was only as thankful that Hotch resumed his work load so he could do exactly that.

████████ **From the Author ████████**

Just a little bit longer than the others and the title was the least I could think of in relation to the chapter. Rossi and Hotch as the protectors of fragile Reid. I'm not sure if I made Hotch seem a little OOC? I'm not used to writing in his POV. If your reviews think so, I'll probably revise it again when I'm not half asleep.

Please review so I know what you're thinking!

**Love your Jeggy**


	6. Chicken, Rice, and Garcia

What We Need; Chapter 5

████████ **Chicken, Rice, and Garcia ████████**

**Disclaimer and Summery;**

I OWN NOT THE CHARACTERS, NOR THE MEDIA THEY ARE FOUND IN, EVEN IF THEY'D MAKE GREAT PETS.

████████ **Story ████████**

Garcia had been off work for about thirty eight minutes. She was determined today to make that foolish doctor eat an entire plate. She had tried to get him to eat different things; she home cooked him lunches, but Reid seemed only comforted by the Chinese store a block away from his building. His favorite, chicken and rice was what she usually got him, and per usual he only ate a quarter of a serving.

He still used forks like the old Reid she knew, but her friend was wasting away right before her eyes. It was getting serious enough that she feared one day she would stop by and he'd be passed out or worse.

The colourful woman shuffled the plastic bag of food from one hand to the other. She walked up to the entrance to Reid's building as if she wasn't a stranger to the place. To say she wasn't surprised to see one Derek Morgan waiting outside would be a lie. The man was suspicious looking,, someone sticking out even more than her vibrant self.

At first she watched curiously as to what he was doing, but he didn't make a move to go inside. She spotted the satchel donned upon Derek's shoulder and understanding hit her.

"So you're the purse snatcher?" The voice startled Derek from his thoughts, but the sweet melody of it made him smile, his favorite computer wiz strolling up beside him. "I don't know what you're talking about," he offered innocently, "I wouldn't call it a purse."

Garcia grinned and pointed a finger, then shaking it, "Ah, ah. One distraught little genius called me before leaving. You know I looked all over for that bag?" It wasn't supposed to be as guilt ridden as it might have sounded to Morgan, but Garcia didn't know that Hotch told him to stay away. At least she didn't give any indication as she willed him inside with her.

"I'm glad you're here my love muffin, maybe you can talk some logic into that stubborn twig." Morgan laughed an awkward chuckle, yeah, Reid could be stubborn.

"What's the problem this time? You two aren't disagreeing on the social concepts of facebook again, are you?" Garcia shot out a quick 'as a matter of fact, no, but we'll debate that later' comment. He could only smile and roll his eyes at remembering the week long feud. This was a topic you didn't want to get into.

"No," Garcia sighed, turning a serious look at Morgan. "It's just that, since we got him back from Philip, he's been a little un-Reid like?" The two of them paused after taking the elevator up to Reid's floor. "Garcia, you're going to have to be more specific," he inquired with a raised brow, "Reid always bounces back." He knew something was up with Reid, but no one seemed to want to tell him what.

"Well, he doesn't eat, doesn't sleep, and he's not all there sometimes. He falls asleep with his eyes open almost. It's spooky. Plus," Garcia leaned a little closer to whisper a more delicate detail, "his apartment. Don't react when you see it."

Morgan hummed with an agreeing frown. React to seeing Reid's apartment, why? Was there something odd about it? He was curious more than ever as they began walking the short distance to Reid's door.

It was when Garcia pulled out a key to unlock the wooden barrier he felt jealous. Why didn't he have one, or rather, why did Garcia get one before him? "Sweetie, I brought dinner," Garcia announced as she let them both inside.

Bleach.

Before Morgan could even step inside, he could smell a faint bleach fume. It wasn't strong enough for someone to choke on, but he was glad the cool air from the window was circulating the overall smell. It smelt nothing like it used to, before there was a paperback and oak scent to Reid's living room made library.

Following Garcia inside and shutting the door, he noticed all the lights were on, even when the lasting daylight of the evening was streaming through the open window. Not only were all the lights on, but things looked out of place. No, more like, things were missing.

There was no antique chair in front of the shelves of books, there was still a couch, but the cushions were removed and resting against the wall under the window. He wondered if Reid had moved things around for more space? He knew that antique chair was Spencer's desired place for reading.

"He must be in the shower, let's go set the table."

Less than four steps to the left of the entrance led into the kitchen. Still as small as ever, but he had never seen it gleam as much as it was now. Obviously this was the source of the overwhelming smell of cleaner. Derek was almost afraid to touch anything in case he left a finger print. The same was for the small dinning set placed in an open nook.

Garcia pointed out the kitchen drawers as he searched for plates, cups, and utensils. Had she not have, he would have opened at least a good five empty cupboards. It was alarming. Where food would normally be stored there was nothing. No fruit, no breads, no can goods, no nothing. He dared to look inside the fridge and confusion washed over him. Both freezer and fridge were empty, save the ice cubes in the freezer.

"Did Spencer get robbed?"

"Strange, right? Between me and Hotch, we bring him dinner every once in a while, but he wont keep anything in the apartment."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Whenever I ask he just tells me, he forgot and haven't gone shopping yet. I check his garbage every time I come over and it's always empty. I asked him if he's having a bug problem, but he keeps denying it. I don't know what's going on and he wont talk to me. Now that you're back, maybe you could try?"

Morgan gazed into the computer tech's worried and fearsome eyes as she tried searching his own for help. He nodded and pulled Penelope into a hug. He patted her back gently as she whimpered in overbearing concern for the ones she loved. She couldn't stand to see her darlings in pain and Reid was in agony.

The two slowly separated and Garcia fixed herself up. She had missed Morgan's strong reassurance this past week. She offered an uneasy smile, being brave, she looked at the plastic bag and the set table. Her eyes drifted towards the small hallway in the apartment opposite to the kitchen.

"You should go check on our boy genius, he's taking too long."

Morgan smiled and caressed the top of the highlighted head of hair. She turned to start dishing out portions onto the dinnerware while Derek went fishing for a doctor. She'd let Morgan persuade the man into eating with them, the fear of walking in on a naked Spencer was too much for her fantasizing eyes to take twice. The first time he didn't close the bathroom door, it was an accident.

As she set the table she heard Derek's traveling voice calling for the younger.

"Hey, kid? It's me, are you almost done, Garcia brought dinner?

Pretty-boy?

Reid?

Reid…?

Reid? Hey! Reid!"

Penelope paused from scraping the food from the fast food containers to listen. What was Morgan doing?

There was a brief silence.

"GARCIA!"

████**Space████**

Am I dead yet?

It was all Spencer could think of while sharp pains shot through his body. His face was resting against the cool floor while water flowed from the tub. In his haze he remembered turning on the shower to boiling hot, stripping his clothing while looking in disgust at the mirror, and then slipping behind the curtain to wash himself before Garcia arrived. He knew she would come, hopefully with his bag.

He had scrubbed himself head to toe and was about to wash himself once more to be sure when a dizzy spell hit him. He swayed lightly and the rush to his head made him enjoy the sensation that he enticed the motion. It didn't take long before the light headed and dizzy swaying that made him feel almost free was bringing him crashing down.

If death felt anything like fainting, peacefully shutting down and not mentally understanding what was going on, he wouldn't mind it so much. It was like he was there, but he couldn't control his body and only watch with mild interest. Watch as his limp form crumbled, the ceiling almost rolling over head until he crashed through the shower veil and met the firm hard tile floor.

He could feel the throbbing of his head and limbs as they hit the objects on his way to the tile, his legs over the tub, his head against the floor, and shoulder that had hit the towel railing. He felt everything and heard it too. He had heard the snapping of the rings that held the water shield up on the rod when falling, the shower spray hitting the curtain and running down onto the floor, then eventually the door opening and voices.

It left so long, as though time stopped, yet he just laid there almost willingly. There was no warning lights going off in his head, in fact there was nothing at all in his head, he could recognize that what he was looking at was the bathroom's sink cupboards, but why?

He heard Garcia and saw Morgan as he was flipped over. He couldn't respond nor move. It was like he wasn't even blinking. He tried to respond to Morgan shouting at him to say something, try to tell Garcia that she needed to call 911, but he could only blankly stare before eventually he blacked out.

████████ **From the Author ████████**

To the reviewers who wanted to see Reid wither even more, this chapter is to you. Could you picture if Reid wasn't as strong as we thought he was? This is rated M people, shit could hit the fan. Probably... Let me know how Spencer should be found, in your mind, by Garcia and Morgan?

I've also combined what used to be chapter 5 and 6 together. Seemed kinda lame and the suspence aspect of making you wait for the next chapter is over. xD

**Love your Jeggy**


	7. Doctor's Waiting Room

What We Need; Chapter 6

████████ **Doctor's Waiting Room ████████**

**Disclaimer and Summery;**

I OWN NOT THE CHARACTERS, NOR THE MEDIA THEY ARE FOUND IN, EVEN IF THEY'D MAKE GREAT PETS.

████████ **Story ████████**

Derek and Garcia had car pooled after the ambulance. Derek's driving more tame and luckily not a gear shifting sports car.

Thankfully for Garcia, they knew Reid would be safe until the lights were flashing and siren on. If that were to happen, it might very well turn into the chase Rossi was so gracefully gifted. He swore the older man would never get into a car with Derek a second time.

The hospital wasn't all that far away either. The only reason Derek didn't jump in the back with Reid was because it wasn't a life or death situation. All according to the paramedics. For him, it might as well have been.

Parking was a bitch. Derek was 'five steam boats' away from blowing a casket. He even contemplated snatching a handicapped slot just so he could rush after the admitted genius. Only about eight rows away from the entrance did he find one.

"We're here to see Spencer Reid, he came in fifteen minutes ago?" Derek's voice demanded with out being raised. His breath was slightly uneven with haste, the nurse's attention acquired as he swept up to the desk.

She was currently in her pink and white scrubs, reading glasses on, and going over a portfolio. She looked up curiously at the eager looking male. Behind him appeared a shorter, colourful woman. "You said his name was Spencer Reid?" she confirmed and shuffled through the new arrivals.

Morgan nodded and tapped his fingers worriedly against the table. Hospitals and Reid was becoming a new trend in the last two years. He figured Reid would have his own reserved room by now, the dry joke never voiced.

"He's currently with the doctor, please fill out this form for him and have a seat. I'll let you know when the doctor's finished."

Morgan didn't like the waiting room, at this time he didn't much care for anything unless it was Reid himself. Still, he was given a clipboard and a pen to fill out a questionnaire in the lobby.

Garcia lead the way to the seating area while Derek stuck his nose into the written document. Unseen to the dark knight, the small maze of connected chairs and the majority of them filled with non emergency needs, were never deemed worthy of his attention.

Derek had already been reading the fine print on the sheets of paper, filling out his name, then Reid's. It asked for his address and then emergency contacts. He put his phone number in first and then Garcia and Hotch's. He wasn't sure who else he should put.

"Does Reid take any medication?" he asked unsure if he was using anything since being kidnapped again. He had a hunch, but just to be safe.

Garcia frowned, "I think he was offered anxiety pills, but the prescription was never filled?" Morgan nodded in understanding. He was sure that aside himself; Hotch and Garcia knew about his stubborn streak for medication after the rebound from his first abduction.

"Will you want to look it overt? In case I missed something?" he offered the clipboard to Garcia. She accepted without hesitation while checking everything over. She was surprised that Derek even knew half the things about Reid this form asked. She gave him a curious look.

"You learn a few things about each other when you're sitting in a car for five hours," he offered remembering the stake outs they had. It brought a faint smile to his face.

Garcia had been returning the gentle smile until her eyes diverted to a doctor clad in a lab coat. He nurse pointed in their direction, Garcia standing to alert Morgan. Derek stood as she had, not noticing the doctor immediately.

"Hi there, I'm Doctor Peters. You're here for Reid?" Garcia didn't out stretch her hand in greeting, but it was acceptable in their haste. "Yes, how is he?" and "That's us," were spoke at the same time.

The female doctor smiled as she took the clipboard they had just filled out. "Well, he fainted from a fever, but other than that the only concern is with the light concussion and bruises from falling. He should be fine to take home once I prescribe some pain relief."

Morgan exhaled all his worries, squeezing Garcia's hand unsure when or who had grasped the other. The woman beside him almost had tears in her eyes at the good news. Things were okay now, it was only a fever, he was still moderately healthy. The next move was to retrieve and coddle the injured, not letting the man out of their sight again.

Derek followed the doctor around two corners before she pointed the in a direction with a room number. Garcia had mentioned taking care of the signout sheets and would catch up with him later. She'd hurry with the minor details while Derek made sure they had everything to take the genius home.

The room was a shared, two bedroom unit, a curtain between patients. The first bed was disappointing, not the man he was looking for. The second wasn't any better when he found Reid flushed and sleeping. He wasn't tossing or turning, but he looked uncomfortable in the small single bed, railings up. His hair was still partly damp and messy from a nurse trying to dry it out with a towel.

Derek moved closer to the bed, his hand snaking out to the one at the side of the sleeping form. He should have come home sooner to see to his best friend. He was needed here and he was swept away in the always got carried away with one thing or another.

He knew that now. Instead of going back to the airport and leaving, he should have been here. It's probably where he should have always been from the start. He only hoped that Reid would let him remain by his side now that he was there.

"It's okay Pretty-boy, I wont go anywhere this time."

████████ **From the Author ████████**

And another down. How do you like Derek's train of thought, looks like he's coming around now.

**Love your Jeggy**


	8. Turning Point

What We Need; Chapter 7

████████ **Turning Point ████████**

**Disclaimer and Summery;**

I OWN NOT THE CHARACTERS, NOR THE MEDIA THEY ARE FOUND IN, EVEN IF THEY'D MAKE GREAT PETS.

████████ **Story ████████**

"Garcia, the door…"

"Oh right, hold on, don't drop him."

"Like I would. Bedroom's that way."

"Where's Rachel, she wont mind?"

"Baby girl, the lights?"

"Got it."

The entrance way to the Morgan's home was brought to life with a switch. Garcia was hurrying best she could to find the foreign objects on the wall. By now it was past midnight and the only guidance was Derek's voice, his arms full with Reid who had been awake long enough to get him past the nurse station and into the car.

Doors and lights were her objective as Morgan carried the doctor bridal style.

Derek wasn't in so much of a hurry as he let on. He didn't mind holding Spencer, but his weight was a little alarming. He was likely smaller than Prentiss or JJ at this point, the girls probably envious of the slender figure. His ribs were painfully detailed through the shirt they hastily put on him before leaving the hospital.

Spencer stirred in his arms, a shiver covering his whole body. "Hey Pretty-boy, it's okay, almost there." he cooed to the other as his eyes briefly opened. Derek could tell the man was too groggy to understand what was going on or who the hell he was.

"Cold," was the only thing he muttered before closing his eyes and trying to huddle into the warm body that held onto him. "I know buddy, we're going to get you into bed now."

"He's so cute," Garcia uttered from the other side of the bed. Derek laid Reid out only to have him curl up into a ball after losing the extra body heat. He gave the woman a small scolding look.

"In a sick, puppy sort of way?" She really felt bad about Reid feeling sick, but she felt a bit useless now that Derek was taking over his care. Derek smiled none the less at the insightful woman. He had to agree that Reid looked a little cute.

Sometimes he was even sexy more than anything. His flushed face, his groggy and sick voice groaning into his shoulder when carrying him, the way his body heat infected his own skin, and the arms that tried to cling closer around his neck. He was almost being seduced.

"Garcia, can you get a wash cloth from the bathroom?" The woman nodded and headed off to the master suit's personal accommodations. She wished her place was more like this, the way Rachel decorated was amazing, but her colourful world was hard to balance with the professional appearance Rachel liked. "Will this do-Ah!"

She had hurried to grab a towel and a damp hand cloth only to emerge with Morgan undressing Reid. "A little warning next time?" she asked quickly turning around. It was hard enough to make her jealous man at home think she was faithful with all these gorgeous men in her life, but when those men were constantly turning up naked, she was mortified at the thought if he ever found out.

Derek on the other hand was struggling with another issue. He had thought a fully dressed Spencer was alluring in his fever, but a shirtless one was much more troublesome. When finding the doctor naked in his apartment, he was more shocked and afraid to notice the boney hips or the sleek chest.

The shirt was set aside on the bed and he was working on the pants. It was a lot easier when two nurses were helping the unwilling genius into them, but getting Reid's limbs uncurled long enough to pull the leggings off was becoming a battle. He didn't want to tug too hard, but taking too long was equally nerve wrecking.

"Is there anything else I can do?" Garcia's voice questioned a little unsteady, her back turned and towel extended behind her. Morgan looked up from the situation he was in. "Pass me a pair of pajamas from the dresser, top drawer," he requested before trying to continue the challenge ahead.

"Here!" Garcia grabbed what ever she could and tossed it at the bed. Morgan grabbed the silky garment only to double take and groan. "Garcia, open your eyes."

"I can't, there's a mirror."

"Toss me something else then?" There was no way Derek was putting on a pink and lacy, woman's nightwear on Reid for many reasons. "Just grab one of my sweaters from the closet then?"

"Closet, got you! I can do closets."

Eventually Morgan had managed to get Garcia out of the way and Reid undressed, wiped down, and changed into a pair of crimson boxers with one of his older sweaters. He brushed Reid's hair back out of his face after covering him snug like a cocoon in the sheets.

"Feel better Pretty-boy…" he whispered to the sleeping man and for an instant had a thought to press his lips onto the other's forehead. He sat there and stared the sleeping face as he wondered what it would feel like, but at the last minute, turned away to leave the room. He knew he shouldn't and so he didn't.

"You know I'd love to stay," Garcia greeted from the couch of the living room, it had been her spot for the last thirty minutes.

"I know Baby-girl. I'll call you in the morning?"

"You better. Take care, both of you."

"Goodnight."

Derek shut the door and locked it. He leaned against the solid security before lugging himself to his welcoming couch. He smiled at the thought of Garcia and how hopeless she could act sometimes. His mind then shifted to Reid alone in his bed. He thought of Rachel for a moment, but Reid was pretty much stuck on the brain.

This was probably the first time he had consciously thought of the genius in anything more than platonic. He felt enormously guilty.

Knocking at the door brought him back to his living room. Sitting up he listened until there was a second bout of knocking. He pulled himself from the couch and traveled back to the door. "Did you forget something Babe?" he asked not looking outside, but simply expecting the woman to be there. What he found wasn't quite who he expected.

"Hotch?"

"Morgan, is there something you want to tell me?" the man outside his door questioned without a greeting. He wore that grim expression of disapproval as though Derek would know what this was about. He looked from the object their leader was holding to his un-amused expression. "Garcia text messaged me that Reid was in the hospital and that he'd be staying with you after I deliberately told you to keep your distance."

Morgan's blood boiled at that. He wanted to close the door on Aaron's face. What right did he have to tell him what he can or can't do in his private time? He wanted to defend himself and demand why exactly he was being forced from helping his friend. He crossed his arms and glared back at Hotchner. "Is that all you came here for?" he growled out not willing to budge.

They both stared each other down for a few moments before Hotch was the first to speak. "No, I came to see how Reid was." Derek uncrossed his arms as his defense weakened, "he's sleeping."

"Then I think you and I should have a talk?" Aaron tried again. He was upset at Morgan, but not enough to fight with him on the doorstep, not when the damage was already done. "Fine, just don't wake Spencer."

Aaron took this opportunity and entered his subordinate's accommodations. As expected, the newly married man had a homey abode. It was much like what he once had before his divorce. Rachel reminded him of Haley, and Morgan of himself. Though, perhaps in a better way.

Morgan closed the door, locking the tension into the room. The open concept of the home made it spread all the way through the house. Morgan wasn't feeling all that hospitable towards his guest and Aaron didn't blame him, he didn't know the reasons behind his actions, that he was only looking out for Reid.

Standing awkwardly just inside the door, Hotch cupped his hands together before starting, "Morgan, I wanted to talk to you about Reid." Of course Morgan eyed him suspiciously, their previous conversation wasn't pleasant. He had seen through him right away when trying to stop Morgan from running into Reid at the office.

The both of them were at a standstill over their team mate. When Derek didn't encourage him to continue he frowned and tried to explain himself. "Rossi informed me about the interrogation of the unsub who took Reid."

As if a switch was flicked, Morgan's attitude changed. His interest perked with slight anxiety of what this might be adding up to. It had been both he and Rossi that got the confession from Philip, both of kidnapping and Reid's confession of love.

"Morgan, what is it you think you're doing?"

"… Nothing."

Derek's reply was laced in different emotions. It all reflected in his eyes as he looked almost pleadingly at Hotch. Aaron could only guess the type of emotions that were secretly hidden under the man's skin, eating away at him. If he'd just talk to him and open up, maybe Morgan could stop feeling so consumed by the things he was feeling.

There was curiosity, because he wasn't all that sure what he was doing himself. Anger, because Reid shouldn't have had been kidnapped in the first place. Lonely, because Rachel and Reid were at such a distance at the moment. Afraid, because he didn't want to loose Reid if he knew about Philip's message. Frustrated, because Reid was in such a state. Confused, because he was starting to discover a new category for Reid as other than friends. Defensive, because Hotch had no business butting in.

"Let me tell you what I think is happening? You're under a lot of stress from the wedding and when returning, the two of you had a fight, where else would she be at this time of the night?

Maybe you had a fight while in Hawaii, but instead of dealing with it you're avoiding the subject. You take a few days off in hopes to smooth things over, instead, you focus on Reid.

You see Reid and you can't help but to pry into his life, because you don't want to face your own. You're curious if Philip's words have any truth to them or not, so you take it upon yourself to find out? But what if Reid knows? What if you end up making things worse by playing around?"

Morgan hadn't seen Aaron so seriously or so directly angry with a team mate before. Although he had on occasion pressed his buttons, he had never begrudgingly so profiled him like he was now. Surprise and hurt were what he felt first, up until all the words of Hotch's 'reality' hit him. He had never profiled someone so wrong until now.

"You," he laughed dryly, "you think I'm playing with Reid's feelings like that? You think I'd do that to the kid?" Derek was beside himself, so frustrated with Aaron that he'd either hit him because he couldn't force the snarling words he wanted to say out, or because he wanted to cry. Derek never cried.

"You want to know what really happened Hotch, huh? Here's how it goes, what if on the day I was getting married, my best friend, and man, get's kidnapped? Then let's say, after thinking that he's suffering somewhere with an unsub's mercy, I wanted to be out there searching for him like everyone else, only I couldn't? Why, because the woman I married wanted to go to Hawaii for our honeymoon or that the team didn't need the one responsible for everything to be in the way?

Before you profile me, Hotch, maybe you should consider that while I was getting nerve wrecking text messages on my phone for Reid's whereabouts, my wife wanted a fucking coffee! Do you know what the last thing she said to me before I left the airport was? That if I left her to get on that plane alone, she'd go to Hawaii by herself and forget me. My wife was willing to leave me after an hour of being married.

The reason I climbed into that half demolished building was, because at that moment, I thought that if I lost Reid, I'd lose the one person I could actually rely on. I wasn't going to let him down. Not when he's counting on me to find him, not after all he's done for me. When I climbed into that building, I was prepared not to come back out. It had nothing to do with anything Philip said before that, I don't give a fuck what Rossi told you.

Did you think it was easy to leave Reid in the hospital like I had? I wanted to stay just like everyone else did, but because I had an obligation to my wife, I did what I thought was the right thing to do at that time. Do you have any idea… that in Hawaii… my wife slept with another man while I was gone. Did you?!

Do you know what it's like when you get back from that sort of vacation, to find the one person you care about was hurting all along and you could have been there for him?"

At this point Derek was fighting so hard to keep his vision from watering, his eyes filling, but refusing to pool over into any resemblance of a tear. His expression held a tight frown to stop the shaking of his lips that wanted to curve as far down his face they could. He was so caught up in his emotions, he wasn't sure what he was more mournful of most, he just felt oblivious amounts of regret and hurt.

"Morgan… I didn't come here with intentions of making you feel like this. I didn't know. All I want is to protect Reid from getting hurt."

"No. Don't pull that shit with me. I'm his best friend, I'd never hurt Reid, ever."

"I know that, but if Philip was telling the truth, I don't think it's wise for you to insert yourself at his side right now. I'm worried if Philip was telling the truth, that Reid might not be able to accept the fact you're married and it'll effect the function of our team."

"Do all you ever think about is work!"

"… Then if I said that personally, I don't want Reid hurt, because I care about him? I don't want him to get his hopes up when you have no intentions of being more than friends, which you don't, right?"

Aaron's eyes gave nothing away as he stared down Morgan. Derek was having trouble deciphering the meaning to those words. He was feeling as if Aaron was trying to take Reid away from him, it gave him a sense of possessiveness. However, while he thought that, he couldn't answer his question.

Did he have intentions of being more than friend's with Reid? Although Reid meant so much to him, could he think of the younger sexually? The pink lace flashed behind his eyes as he recalled Garcia throwing it at him. He felt a wave of heat wash over his face when suddenly that pink lace was wrapped around Reid's naked body.

Reid flushed from fever, bed hair everywhere as he squirmed to find comfort in his sleep. The sleepy and muffled noises he'd make while rolling over onto his side, curling up so that the lace trim on the bottom of the short gown covered just enough. His hips, bony like the rest of him, giving the material a sexy shape. Just enough to be able to picture what was underneath. He could even see the straps of the gown falling off his shoulders, lacing the feminine frame to hold them correctly. His pale and creamy looking skin… **Stop!**

"Of course not! Hotch, as a friend, I want to help him, so please…?"

There was a silence as Aaron thought things over in his head. He was having trouble believing Derek, but slowly he gave a small nod. If it was protecting Reid, Morgan always beat him at it. He already knew he wasn't able to give Reid what he needed to get over this stage in his life, so maybe Derek could. He didn't like it, but if it was for Reid.

"Fine. Reid can stay here until her gets better, but if he chooses to leave when he wakes up, you will call me and he can stay at my place… and Morgan? Under the circumstances, I'd understand if you want a little extra leave time."

Morgan paused, his anger with the team leader was slowly calming, now with everything on the table, things weren't as stressed as they had been. Right now, he could focus on Reid.

"I might take you up on that…"

████████ **From the Author ████████**

Again, combined two old chapters into one new one. Hope you like it. 8D

Amd DAYUM. Reid in a lacey garment. Morgan, you shouldn't deny what you know is inevitable.

**Love your Jeggy**


	9. Foreshadow Love

What We Need; Chapter 8

████████ **Foreshadow Love ████████**

**Disclaimer and Summery;**

I OWN NOT THE CHARACTERS, NOR THE MEDIA THEY ARE FOUND IN, EVEN IF THEY'D MAKE GREAT PETS.

Facts stated are loosely based around truth, dont not take seriously.

████████ **Story ████████**

There was a tranquil moment before Reid rolled over with a moan. The sun creeping into the room for the billionth time, a some what sleeping genius still in bed.

Nearly noon and Spencer was yet to be disturbed from his less than feverish state. Recovering from the previous night, his still frame rested on an over sized king's bed with neutral colors washed everywhere.

_Last nigh_t.

For all he could remember there had been voices in his groggy delusion. He was dreaming of Derek; carrying him to the room, tucking him into bed, and then... something else he just couldn't remember. Reid wiggled further, his head sifting into the depths of pillows, still trying to dig it's way past the mattress. What ever that dream was or where ever it would lead, he wanted to stay in it _forever_.

Sometimes forever was just impossible.

Reid's eyes _flew_ open and he pushed himself up. The covers and pillows quickly separated as he crawled up on his hands and knees. He'd been sleeping on his stomach, a dull aching on his side and his head a little dizzy.

He felt sore and sleepy, yet comfortable and relaxed? He calmed himself down as he moved to sit nearly cross legged on the bed.

_Where was he?_

_What was that Smell?_

The bed was too big to be his and there was a mixture of female and male décor about the walls. A top all of that was a wafting scent, bacon, slipping in from the hallway. It made his stomach growl in excitement, however he pushed it away. Now was not the time.

There was _something_ lingering, _something_ that woke him up. It wasn't the smell of bacon, looking down at the over sized grey sweater he found himself in. He was even wearing a pair of boxers he was sure wasn't his. He was more of a briefs guy.

It took a moment for everything to sink in before he realized nothing here belonged to him. For a moment he panicked. He had _dirtied_ someone else's bed with his lingering stench. He was wearing someone's clothing, clothing that didn't belong to him. He was getting everything _dirty_. Didn't they know the never ending smell he couldn't escape? The smell that wouldn't go away even after washing three times a day.

He quickly tugged at the sweater wanting it off. In his haste Reid started to pull the fabric off and over his head, all while he moved to the edge of the mattress. He frantically tried to separate himself and the unknown person's belongings, it they _hadn't_ known, they would sooner or later. He didn't want anyone to know, if that was even possible.

The hasty undressing stopped as the sweater bunched, consuming his head. There it was again, the _smell_ that had woken him up. It _wasn't_ his and it _wasn't_ unpleasant. He inhaled the scent of the sweater just a little more.

The large over top hoodie, a bold green and black sport's logo embroidered at the chest, was worn a little thin in spots. Technically he knew the team's logo, players, and sponsors, he just never really cared about knowing it. His fingers ran over the stitching, the aroma of the closet's wooden shelf mixed cologne enticing. He wanted to keep it on.

He had loved it so much, he slowly lowered the sweater back on, his nose poking just under the collar. It was soothing, even if he might have slept in it. He picked up a striped blue pillow and did the same. _It was everywhere_.

He let out a hum of satisfaction. Since when had he ever been surrounded by such luring scent. Finally he decided to keep the grey sweater on, the boxers were a given. A little guilt for not wanting to take them off was teetering about in his brain, but for once, he wanted to be selfish too.

Rattling from the kitchen announced he wasn't alone. It made him curious as to who was here with him, who might have given off such an appeal to his nostrils. He had a list of suspects, a rather large one, but he didn't want to assume anything.

For all he remembered he could have been kidnapped again. If this kept happening, he'd might as well lock himself away on his own. Lots of people worked from home with all the online media.

His heart skipped faster as he fumbled off the bed and tiptoed to the hall way. He was quietly hoping, by some cruel change of events, it might be Morgan. Even though he personally couldn't remember what happened, his mind kept playing back Derek carrying him to bed and how much he wanted it to be true.

The rattling from the kitchen increased as he heard plates clinking about, sizzling, and utensils chiming together. At the end of the corridor's end, no where to hide, he stood between the kitchen and the living room. He blinked a few times just to make sure he was seeing right.

It was an open concept, the dinning area made into a pleasant island for dinner entertainment. One that was half a table and half a kitchen counter. An electric glass stove glowed red as the pans on them cooked what he could see held eggs, bacon, and mildly decapitated pancakes. Behind that was a double door fridge and a double sink. The cupboards where dark and the back splash light. The counter tops looked a heavy marble, but where likely a fake look alike.

His first thought was how professional looking the kitchen was for making a top notch breakfast. His second thought lingering more to one Derek Morgan standing before him cooking. He looked just as much at home as he started to feel. _He must be still asleep._

The man he dubbed Morgan, the one in the middle of everything, hadn't noticed him just yet. Derek finally glanced up and laid eyes on him, turning in his direction about to shut off the stove.

Somehow he pictured Morgan greeting him with a smile, but as their eyes met he frowned. Suddenly Reid felt very self conscious. This wasn't like one of his dreams at all.

"What are you doing out of bed?"

The question struck him funny. If he was dreaming, the the dreamer usually never registered that fact. So... this wasn't a dream? He found that even more troubling, matching Derek's downcast face.

Why wouldn't he be out of bed? It was after all, he glanced to the neon colour time on the microwave, _almost noo_n. "Bacon woke me up," he lied still deciphering reality. He couldn't tell the truth and instead wondered if he should share the eight different facts about the animal that made Derek's choice of breakfast (or lunch). He settled for not saying anything. He wasn't all that talkative after shutting himself up so many times.

Derek finally offered him a warm smile. He gave a half smile back feeling awkward. He was happy, and yet _nervous_ and on _edge_. "Since you're up anyways, grab a seat," Derek nodded to the tall chairs by the island in front of him. "Food will be ready in a minute," he added as he moved the pans around and away from the burners.

"Well," Reid started as he recalled only wearing boxers out, "maybe I should go change?"

Derek looked up and gave him the once over, "no need."

Reid nodded slightly as he cautiously tiptoed to the seat. Things suddenly felt extremely awkward. Derek was okay with him sitting at the table in boxers, boxers that belonged to Derek himself. He wasn't even wearing socks in the house, bare feet touching his floors. Let's not mention the hint of manly hair running down his legs. Somehow it all seemed too much, that once he sat down, he felt safely hidden behind the table.

"So… is _Rachel_ coming?" he asked nervously, not wanting to be caught like this by the wife.

"Not that I know of," he replied with a grin, "this is all for you kid."

_"For me?"_

Reid took a second glance at the food. At least five eggs over easy, a pile of buttered toast, bacon, and those mystery pancakes in the far corner looking butchered. If this was all for him, then no thank you! "I'm actually not that hungry," he offered, causing Derek to give him a pointed look. "Maybe a little bit," he corrected himself as he could hear Derek's gaze scolding him for all his hard work.

"Good," was Derek's reply as he turned around, putting food on two plates. With his back turned Reid dipped his nose down into the sweater once more. No wonder he had liked the smell of the clothing so much, the side of the bed Derek used. He really, really, loved it.

A picture of _Rachel_ and Derek sat boldly on the fridge, the picture stuck there with little magnets. Just as he had been carried away, he was so quickly brought back. The picture was from their first 'real' date they had. Both of them looked happy.

"I'll be right back…"

Before Derek could ask or even turn around, Reid was already shuffling down the hall. He found his way to the on suit bathroom and closed the door. He did so, trying desperately not to slam it in his haste. He paced back and forth in the small area, the mirror catching his eye.

There was a large, dark, and splattered circle over his temple from hitting his head. He leaned in closer to check it out. There was no cut, but it was tender just like the rest of him, all likely where he had fallen.

Being in the bathroom, he looked over to the shower. He could see what had happened to him as images flashed in his head. That's right. It all clicked now.

He sank to the floor, the door to his back. He was a mess and now Derek knew it too. That had to be what was going on. Derek and Garcia where in his apartment when he had an accident. There was a faint hospital memory, but that didn't help him much.

**God**! He had been _naked_!

Derek had seen everything. He had seen the highs and lows in the field and now this. He knew who had found him before when Philip took him, it only took a little digging. He had been at his worst from the coffin to then at his apartment bathroom. Now he was here out of guilt or sympathy, maybe both.

He buried his head in his hands as he realized how much he wasn't over Derek, how much he couldn't admit to him being married, or how much it hurt to know that the one you really liked was looking down on you with negativity. He smelt the sweater as his head lowered in shame and it made him want to cry.

"Reid, you okay?"

The knock on the door vibrating against his back made him gasp and jump. There was a mutual pause before he heard Derek turning the door handle, "**I'm**-."

"_I'm okay,_" Reid quickly shot back through the door, "don't come in."

Somehow his voice didn't quiver as his breath did. He had managed to make it this far. Just a little further and he could go home. Forget about Derek Morgan, he had to concentrate in getting back into the field or at least the office.

He heard Derek's concerned voice from the other side as he pulled himself to the counter top. He looked at himself with disgust and clenched his fist. He took a second to compose himself before turning around and opening the door.

_Just forget about-_

Derek nearly fell in on him, standing so close made him slink back. "You okay kid?" he asked as he looked the other up and down. There is was, kid, he hated that nickname. He was younger, but he wasn't some kid.

"I just felt sick, I don't think I want to eat anything after all," he muttered and glanced at the floor while holding his stomach. Derek frowned and Reid wasn't sure if he'd buy it or not.

"Then maybe you should go lie down?" Derek moved to lean on the door frame, point him in the direction of the bed.

"I'm fine, I'll just go," he murmured back, crossing his arms defensively.

"Where?" Derek mimicked the action.

"Home." Reid looked up at the older, a little hurt in his eyes.

"Your clothes aren't washed yet," he answered.

Derek could tell Reid was trying to run away, but he wasn't sure why. He couldn't be blaming him, could he? For being kidnapped? It was his wedding and everything, but, he… Damn it.

"Reid, don't look at me like that…" he sighed unable to keep the staring contest going.

"Like what?" he added to his forming pout.

"Like you're blaming me for everything," he almost choked as he slumped against the entrance.

There was a pause before Reid got angry.

"**When did I ever?!**" Reid's voice rose and stunned Derek, "I wasn't, you're the one butting in!"

That time Morgan did choke on his words, "I just want to make things better…"

"I don't need _fixing_, **move**, I want to go home!"

Reid was trying to push his way through with words, while Derek blandly stayed leaning. There was enough room for him to get past if he really wanted to, confusing Derek. "Reid," he stepped closer only to have the other step back until hitting the counter.

While retreating into the opened door bathroom, the damage done was only now sinking in for the both of them.

"Reid, I don't want to _fix_ you," Derek began the long process of mending what was broken, his voice soft and soothing, a trait Reid found unfair. "I want to be here for you, I know you're going through some things, but I want to be here for what ever you need. Even if you don't blame me, I blame myself."

He thought it was a good start until Reid told him it was only out of pity and that he should just leave him alone. His heart sank at the words Reid coldly spoke to him with. "You know me better than that," he pleaded with the stubborn doctor.

"Maybe, _maybe_ I know you better than some, _but you don't know me_."

Derek reeled back. Had Reid honestly tossed his words back in his face?

**You don't know me**.

Those words tore at Derek's heart. He felt a heavy weight rest over his shoulders, his body flushing with heated frustration. How could Spencer say those words to him of all people? He loomed forwards, resting his hands on the interior wall that cornered into a towel closet.

His palms gripped the corner, a light sweat clamming his hands. He was in shock. Never had he expected Reid to say such a cruel thing to him. They were best friends, the type that hung out until six in the morning watching marathons of old movies, the type that inside jokes were everyday occurrences. Granted, the past few weeks had been hard on both of them, but Reid was never known to carelessly throw hurtful words around.

"**I don't know you**?" Derek spoke, his voice a little uneven as he let his rage fester under his skin. "_Don't I_, Reid?" he asked again when there was no reply from the doctor.

The younger man then spoke, his reply soft and weak, "No, _Morgan_, you don't," and he didn't. He didn't know that he loved him. That the 'kid' he adored was actually a man with his own desired. Derek Morgan was a idiot, especially about Reid.

Derek released the grimp on the corner as he tried to control himself. So he was '_Morgan_' now? He huffed and puffed for the words he wanted to use, searched deep inside him for all the stabbing remarks he could shoot back at the genius, but even when one did reach the tip of his tongue, he held it back. His expression was a mix from a disapproving frown to hurt chocolate eyes. His jaw clenched lightly as he tried to contain himself.

"If I didn't know you so well, then how do I know that you never wear the same pair of socks together? How do I know that you add five times the regular amount of sugar to your coffee, which you can't function without? How do I know that your favorite reading materials are paper novels over computer documents? How do I know that you can't stop fidgeting when you're nervous?"

All the things he listed were common facts. He watched as Reid's face played with a small frown and he felt guilty for his actions. Not just now, but from the moment he left him at the hospital to go to Hawaii. His eyes traced the doctor's hairline, the strands of mop a little ragged. His anger slowly subsided as he nearly, almost reached out his fingertips to move a little bed hair away.

"You're a **profiler**, you're _supposed_ to see those things!" He snapped back to reality as Reid continued to defend his space within the bathroom. Morgan saw hopeful dusty eyes looking at him and he knew he couldn't lose the argument in fear he'd lose his best friend. He'd prove to him who knew whom better.

"Then how do I know that your mother is in an institute, that you write her everyday? That you're afraid you'll develop schizophrenia?" He couldn't stop; he had to prove he knew Reid better than even himself. "You're afraid of the dark. You refuse taking medicine because of the addiction you went through. How about the fact that you've read every single book at libraries within a three city radius?"

Reid stared hesitantly into Derek's bold, swirling eyes as he tried to search for the reasoning behind this argument. His eyes slowly watered at the seemingly harsh reminders he faced. He inhaled a quivering breath, "Those are all the thing's I've told you before…" He crossed his arms, the baggy sweatshirt hiding his clenched fists.

He couldn't take much more of Morgan's hysterics. He wasn't even sure what Derek was trying to prove anymore. He was supposed to be just a friend, so why did he have to tread up so many painful things?

His fingers shook as they fiddled with the fabric on the sweater. Derek was trying to convince him he cared, but to this extent he was only hurting him more. He was giving him thoughts that were dangerous. Maybe, his addiction was better than all this pain. Maybe somewhere in Morgan's free willed thumper, he had a place just for him.

"I know your favorite coffee brand is number 42 at the café on East. I know that the waitress there calls you 'Sugar' because she likes you. She writes it on the top of your mug, but you're too self-conscious to bring it to work, so you'll drink it before arriving; you'll toss out the lid and refill your cup with the staff room blend, even though you hate it." This had caught Reid's attention, leaving him speechless for Morgan to continue.

"I know you hated Fruit Loops as a kid because birds hardly rely on their sense of smell, and that the character for the cereal was the least realistic of all. I know you once accidentally dropped one of Garcia's tablets, cracking the screen, and it took you two days to confess. I know you like to talk in your sleep, but you're probably the only one out of all of us that doesn't snore."

Derek's over powering words started to rush to his head as he continued to list things about him. It was almost boarder line stalker. He may have mentioned those things once in his time knowing Morgan, but for him to remember all of it was amazing.

"I know you hate getting hair cuts, so sometimes you let it grow out. I know you can't stand hot, cinnamon toothpaste, but you love the candy. I know you. I know you better than anyone else, Reid. You can't deny that."

Reid's eyes widened at Derek's words. It was true. He felt himself flushing from forehead to chin. He adverted his eyes to race over the ceramic floor in thought. His whole body started to tremble as he coiled his arms around himself. He was trying to piece together exactly how Derek could know all these things, these detailed things. It was **definitely** borderline stalker, yet he felt _flattered_.

"I may not know everything about you, or how you feel after what happened in that church basement, but I'm not going away."

It felt like those last words Morgan said to him ran through his gut. His eyes blurred with pinching pain, tears threatening to collect and force their way down his checks. He loved this man so much, yet he was utterly clueless. He had no idea how happy it made him, yet how much it hurt to listen to those words. Knowing all those things seemed moot unless he could have Morgan all to himself.

"_Don't_ push me away when _I know_ you don't want to."

Large, strong arms found their way around him in a tight embrace. All he could do was ball his hands into white knuckles as Derek tried to comfort him, in doing so, making things worse. No, he didn't want to push Derek away, but he didn't want to be this close with a married man either. Not when he only saw their relationship in a platonic sort of way.

He tried to hold it in, but when Derek's scent invaded his space so boldly, when his hand pawed through his hair to keep it out of his face, he released a sad squeaky gasp. When his mumbled words vibrated in his chest, when the heat of his arms encircled him, he let a sob out. When he coaxed him from the bathroom back to the kitchen, he gave a heavy inhale, before wiping at his eyes with a drawled exhale.

But when he kissed his forehead and turned to fetch him a plate, his whole heart stopped and his breath caught. After everything, he had finally had a first kiss, sort of, with Derek. His face went rosey at the thought, hiding it carefully. He needed to tell Derek. _Right now_. How he felt before the moment was lost.

████████ **From the Author ████████**

**Love your Jeggy**


	10. Cross Fire

What We Need; Chapter 9

████████ **Cross Fire ████████**

**Disclaimer and Summery;**

I OWN NOT THE CHARACTERS, NOR THE MEDIA THEY ARE FOUND IN, EVEN IF THEY'D MAKE GREAT PETS.

████████ **Story ████████**

Derek's chest was tight;

He made a mistake.

He had slipped up.

He had kissed Reid.

Technically he could say it meant nothing; a harmless peck on the head, like a brotherly-

_Who was he kidding_?

These thoughts were brimming the edge of brotherly love. He knew this, just had a hard time accepting it. Should he accept it? Why was this little genius causing him so much greif, termoil within himself? Why was he so infatuated with Spencer Reid now, right after he was married? Why couldn't it have been sooner?

Morgan's thoughts were swimming with panic and excitement. He was afraid to turn back around to see the expression on Spencer's face, the fear out weighing the curiosity. Instead he focused his attention back to the breakfast that was slowly chilling.

He strained to listen for Reid, hoping to gather an image with out sight, tension building in his shoulders. When there was nothing to be heard, he gazed at the reflection on the microwave. A smirk came to his features as the silent doctor was frozen stiff.

So that meant something to Reid?

He felt a little smug, a tad lighthearted. He pondered the results of confessing his secret; knowing the confession Philip gave Rossi and himself, Hotch arriving at his door late at night, confessing about his wife, which was a cheating sack.

**███Space███**

Rachel sauntered back up the driveway of the Morgans. Her mother had taken the whole day and night talking sense into her foolish ways. She had a whole night of lectures and heart to hearts.

It was apparent to her that she might have been in the wrong. Sure Derek wasn't entirely innocent, she had her needs too, but so soon into the marriage she was practically thrown out from her mother's door step.

She sighed, the taxi she arrived in pulling away.

**███Space███**

Spencer's hands felt clammy, his heart beat in overdrive. He was going to do it. He was going to confess. Why not, right? He had nothing left to lose. He already lost his dignity, his job (sort of), and his crush. Might as well toss in his best friend with the comb he had going.

If he didn't say it now, he'd probably never. Regardless of his apparel, the boxers and sweater, he needed to let Derek know. Let him know it wasn't his fault for his kidnapping, that he didn't blame his wedding or anyone.

Morgan's smirk faded as he thought of Rachel. How different was he acting? As soon as he started to think of Reid liking him, his interest changed. Sure he might have found Reid attractive before, but he never actually thought further into being with the man, until after Philip.

What of his past? His history? He had sworn to stay on the _straight _and narrow path since his traumatic childhood. He wasn't even sure he _could _have a functional relationship with Reid. A peck on the head was a lot different than sleeping with him.

He felt his face heating up. This wasn't some random man, this was Reid. Thoughts of anything beyond platonic felt taboo. It was just strange, but not necessarily bad. It was a feeling of utter embarrassment, maybe a mix of guilt. There was just so much even the simple thought of making out was enough to make his neck feel flush with the rest of him.

Reid was a man; his stubble came and went, had hair on his underarms and legs, he had, well, you know. Even his voice was lower regardless the speed he hummed. He might have looked girly, but he wasn't.

**███Space███**

Her heels clicked on the pavement as she reached her and Derek's home. Slipping the key into the slot, she smiled, twisting it gently. Derek's car was home. She'd have to surprise him, forgiving him and vowing that she'd never cheat to spite him again. Surely he'd forgiver her.

Whipping her bangs from her eyes, she lugged her suitcase over the step and turned the handle of the structure's barrier.

****███Space███****

With two plates, Derek finally turned about, Spencer still pasted to the spot looking lost and at terms with himself. Although he knew Spencer was a male, there was just something sexy about the kid. Slender figure, pale skin, occasionally longer then normal bed head, the awkward hanging shorts and sweater, the angle of his chin line, and the curve of the adams-apple. All of it thwarted his efforts to evade his overwhelming feeling of adoration.

Reid would tell him. Even if he shocked the life out of Derek, stunned him, made him angry or disgusted. It wouldn't matter even if he left like he was now, if Derek told him to, he'd leave.

A bit of a self destructive side, but he couldn't think of any other way to end this suffering. If he got kicked off the team, if he no longer had a best friend or love interest. If things were over, then it'd all be so much easier to withstand.

"Derek?"

The darker male paused, shuffling the plates in front of the stools, one beside the other. He looked up, Reid obviously in discomfort. He offered him a lop sided smile, hands mimicking the gesture to sit down, but he didn't.

"Reid? What's wrong?"

The hair on the back of his neck stood as Reid remained quiet. There was a billion things, senarios, and actions playing out in his head. All the 'what if's and the 'maybe's. As he frantically sought out to cover the situation, he missed his chance.

"**I -** _Im - _**lo -** _ho - _**ve -** _me - _**you-**"

The jumble of words left Derek confused, however, both equally heard. The place fell into silence as the three of them stood in the middle of the house. Derek's flabbergast expression turning from Reid to Rachel.

Reid, peered over his shoulder, faced with one whirlwind looking woman. The once confident genius was now horrified by the sudden realization of who exactly it was that arrived.

Rachel, Morgan's wife, the woman Derek was in love with. She was now standing before them both.

_"What did you just say?"_

████████ **From The Author ████████**

Whoop in a hurry, a little excited to post a new chapter. -Scurries off-

**Love your Jeggy**


	11. Collision

What We Need; Chapter 10

████████ **Collision ████████**

**Disclaimer and Summery;**

I OWN NOT THE CHARACTERS, NOR THE MEDIA THEY ARE FOUND IN, EVEN IF THEY'D MAKE GREAT PETS.

*** There maybe some facts found incorrect within this chapter. Do not take it seriously.

████████ **Story ████████**

**"I love you-"**

_"Im Home-"_

Spencer and Rachel simultaneously announced to Derek. A heavy and awkward moment shared between the three people as things registered. Reid seemed more aware of the situation than anyone, the blush expressing his shame as time stood still.

It wasn't anyone's fault other than Derek's. He'd played things out too long trying to make up his mind and leisurely sorting out his priorities. Now that things came crashing in on it's own, he realized what an idiot he'd been. He could only imagine what Rachel was thinking, Reid's thoughts obviously displayed on his features.

How long did he have to fix everything? Could he? It seemed as though seconds later the world was moving once more. Derek was at a loss of how to make up the entire time he wasted as Rachel dropped her luggage to the floor.

Reid, with flashes of embarrassment waving up and down his body, had been facing Morgan the whole time. He hadn't seen the door open prior to the synchronized statements. The complex face Derek was making had him standing and twirling away from the seating island. There was nothing else in the room but static, even the breakfast was forgotten.

Rachel equally stumbled, reeling at what she heard from the scrawny man. The door, in all it's matching decor to the house, was left behind hanging open at a forty something degree angle. Somehow she'd managed to arrive in that exact moment, that exact instant of the largest confession of Reid's life.

Reid nervously squirmed feeling much _too _naked. His fingers fiddling with the hem of the sweater on polar sides, tugging them down. His eyes were mostly downcast, lip cropped to the side with teeth nibbling at them. His stomach tumbled from strain and hunger.

_"What did you say?" _the question came as a seething and dangerous slur.

The woman's hair was tossed about and her clothing the same as if she'd slept in them, still managing to look decent unlike himself. The once confident genius was now horrified of the wrath that he profiled Rachel to unleash. He wasn't really the violent type.

No. Not this time. His back straightened, he was going to stand his ground. Hopefully. So long as Morgan didn't join her side and kick him out. Even being slightly abused in the work field, he wasn't about to be a target, nor some bag to aimlessly receive an attack. He'd waited so long, so painfully long to say these things to Morgan and the cat was out, there was no going back.

Still, Reid's mouth betrayed his intentions.

"L-love is actually a universal word that could mean both intimate or platonic feelings for someone. There isn't a platonic based deity significantly mentioned in today's culture, the closest in greek being Anteros for requited love.

In greek mythology the gods are depicted for more stronger relationships of love. For example; Anteros, Philotes, Hedylogos, Himeros, or Pothos. More commonly known are Eros and Aphrodite."

Reid's ramble held the likely fuming woman at bay for an entire five seconds. "What the hell are you talking about?" she snapped, thwarting anything else the doctor could have come up with to enlighten the situation.

An unamused glare etched it's way to her afternoon state. "I don't care about shit like that! I want to know what- why you're naked in my kitchen!?"

"Rachel," Derek tried to interrupt, moving around the kitchen's counter to stand not far from Reid's left.

"Why the hell are you in my house!? What the fuck did you just say!?"

Derek's profiling instincts started to take over, his hand gently up in a receiving manner and aiming to calm his wife down from assaulting his, well, Anteros' relationship?

"Half dressed and in my kitchen," she loomed forwards repeating herself, standing about the same height as her opponent. Her rage turned to Derek for a mere glance as he attempted to reduce her frustration. "Who's in who's shoes now?" she grated at her husband.

"Whom" came the small whisper from Reid, perking to attention at the phrase. "Whom is politically correct, but did you know that most english speakers exclu-." **SLAP**. His mystifying lesson was suddenly interrupted.

The sound echoed as Rachel recoiled her arm. Her face was contorted while Reid's was nursing a hand print on his cheek.

Instantly regretting the comment, Reid brought his palm up to test the injury. The harsh clap to his face left him with a burning cheek and confusion over the meaning of shoes. He rubbed soothingly on his upper, left corner cheek to wither the sting. Admittedly it hurt, but it wasn't enough for him to strike back by any means. He was professional. He'd rather not mention his mother could hit harder than that.

A second swing was made at him, apparently blaming the world upon Reid. He ducked away and huffed at his own bed head that got in his eyes. Behind the veil of locks, Reid struggled to see, backing away from Rachel best he could.

A dull pain, his right hip banged off the island, trying to escape a third swipe. Cornered, he clenched his eyes in a way to protect them from the extended violence. He groaned mentally and berated his confidence dealing with woman.

When nothing came, he squinted his eyes open, a crouched stance just in case.

Nothing but grunting and growling, like feral animals was heard. Thankfully without him in the middle of the two fighting Morgans. Flipping hair from his face his breath shuffled in light pants, he regained his posture slowly. For some reason it irked him to see Derek standing there as a shield.

Was he that weak?

Another growl and he was noticing the struggling woman; her wrist clasped tightly in the palms of Derek, a noise of displeasure. A part of him wanted to lay down a taunt, enough to feel better about being bitch slapped by Morgan's wife, but he couldn't. More in his favor, his logic told him to grab his things and leave.

"Stop it.." Derek commanded in a firm tone, a silent anger under it. Rachel jerked her arm to get free, pushing and pulling until her arm flug with release. "You stop it! He's the god-damn one who ruined everything!" she pointed to Reid who had inched his way towards the hall, but unable to pass.

"Rachel, I swear-"

"Go ahead. I bet that queer-ass friend of yours would love-!"

"_Its not like that_-" Derek rumbled lowly before he mentally bit his tongue. He'd been brewing such a bad temper he'd forgotten Reid was behind him. That's not how he meant it to sound.

It felt terrible that Reid was being subjected to this treatment and that he couldn't properly confront his best friend like he wanted to. Not right now at least. Not as Rachel clung to him and slid down his frame with defeat. He did his best to detach himself while holding in the desire to toss her away.

"Derek?" Reid's slightly hurt expression was conveyed in his words. He was fishing for an answer to his confession. Still unanswered, he waited with anxiety, Derek's back to his line of sight. He was confused, his heart starting to race uncontrollably.

"**GET OUT**!" the woman screeched before Morgan could hatch a syllable. She repeated her self twice more from the ground with devastation, unsure if she was pointing her sorrow to Reid or both men.

"_Rachel_.." Wails continued as Derek sighed, "we were _over_ the minute I got to Hawaii."

Reid had no place to speak, but perked at this new information. What had happened in Hawaii? Was he really that much apart of this argument or was there more, because it sure looked like it. Rachel spoke more strongly, bringing Reid back to reality.

"It was a mistake! I came back to apologize!" his wife pleaded with new found hope. Derek fell silent as Rachel's sobs shushed, picking herself from the home's base. "But at least..." her inhale was shuddering, "I didn't cheat on you with another woman. Derek, I didn't sleep with another woman, but you... I could understand a woman, but a man...?"

Derek's eyes hardened. He was being guilted and it was working, just a little. "Remember who cheated on- whom first?" he added and turned to the side, not facing her nor Reid.

A curt laugh came from Rachel. "Fine. That's just fine. I wasn't ready to marry you anyways, we might as well get a divorce or what ever. I hate you, I hate both of you," she leered with blood shot eyes, turning about and storming to the door. She struggled in her frustrated state to collect her bags.

Just before walking out the door, she turned back, looking over her shoulder. "For what it's worth..." she eyed Reid up and down, "you should have died in that accident." Then she was gone.

Derek's chest heaved, Rachel having gone too far. She could get as far as the lane before realizing she had no transportation. He took three strides. Three angry, boiling strides to the door, fist shaking.

Until Reid's voice hit him.

Reid choked from behind, sliding down the kitchen's utilities. He felt each curve of the counter as he did. Derek's anger seemed to subdue as he quickly ushered to him. He couldn't understand what suddenly happened, his heart beat was ringing in his ears.

His memory flashed to Philip.

_███**Space**████_

_Spencer tensed. "N-no, listen to me. It's not a prank, I was attacked and kidnapped, I need you to go and tell my friends where I am. If you stay here there's a chance that the person who did this will come back and see you. Just go tell Morgan, or anybody from the FBI where you found me, a coffin isn't easy to move-"_

_"You're right," a higher pitched voice than the grave digger's replied, followed by a heavy sound of something hitting the floor, "they're heavy."_

He gasped as the coffin seemed to surround him, the grave digger unable to save him now.

_"What do you know? Don't think I didn't see it. You were about to confess your feelings in hopes to run off together?"_

_"I- I wasn't!"_

Tears were starting to swell in his eyes, he couldn't breathe. He couldn't **BREATHE**!

_"Did you hear me? **I SAID, I LOVE THE GROOM, DAMNIT**!" he screamed as loud as he could, but the light shut off and a door clicked close. He was alone again. Himself, a coffin, and a body. _

_███**Space**████_

Derek's eyes scanned back and forth in a wild flurry of concern. "_Reid_... **Reid**!" he called to the shaking male on the floor. "Reid, can you hear me? You're having an attack, you need to stop _hyperventilating_."

Reid made no sign of understanding, his mouth slightly parted and choking. Derek's hands moved from tightly holding Reid's shoulders to his head. "Come on Pretty-Boy, I know you can hear me, you need to calm down."

When nothing changed, Derek made a shuddering breath, a loss of anything else to do. He wasn't about to let his friend suffocate. An anxiety attack or not, Reid was going to be fine.

Instantly, without blinking, thinking, or realizing it; he kissed him.

At first it was nothing more than lips pressed together, but Reid gasped for air and he couldn't help it. He opened his own jaws, keeping the other's breath caught between them.

Reid's eyes started to focus as his hands reached for help, clasping onto Derek's arms and shirt. He inhaled through his nose, a long and painful one, but then there were lips on his. Lips that mimicked his own, from open, to closed, then to partly split.

Spencer snapped awake, pushing Morgan back. Both panted inches away from one another, only one of them utterly confused. Was that tongue?

"Wh-" he couldn't quite get enough air to speak. "Why?" he managed, staring at Derek, lost and slightly hurt. "Why would you do that now, after what just happened?" he cringed out.

Was he second place? Was that why Morgan was being so attentive to him, because his wife and he were having marriage problems? It hurt much more than his panic attack.

"You're a jerk," Reid added, his croaky voice defeated.

There was a lot of nothing filled between those words, Derek ashamed. So what if the timing was horrible? So what if Reid got the wrong message. So what if his wife was outside.

"_I know_."

Morgan moved forwards and captured the other's lower lip, slightly off target when Reid flinched. Even with resistance he wasn't expecting, Derek's tongue found a way to lure the doctor's parted mouth.

Reid made a sound akin to a whimpering moan. He loved and hated it at the same time. So he kissed back hesitantly, slowly, then aggressively.

As soon as their tongues had brushed one another, Reid clung to his only chance. He couldn't bare to face Morgan, closing his eyes and demanding a deeper and more meaningful kiss. He was already here, he wasn't about to let Derek slip away now.

████████ **From the Author ████████**

Again, pay no mind to the facts I might have gotten wrong, said by Reid. I honestly googled it half assed. ;v; Sorry! This was a quick edit. I can re-do the chapter's correcting if it bothers enough people.

**Love your Jeggy**


	12. Revelation

What We Need; Chapter 11

████████ **Revelation ████████**

**Disclaimer and Summery;**

I OWN NOT THE CHARACTERS, NOR THE MEDIA THEY ARE FOUND IN, EVEN IF THEY'D MAKE GREAT PETS.

████████ **Story ████████ **

"You're a jerk," Reid added, his croaky voice defeated.

There was a lot of nothing filled between those words, Derek ashamed. So what if the timing was horrible? So what if Reid got the wrong message. So what if his wife was outside.

"I know."

Morgan moved forwards and captured the other's lower lip, slightly off target when Reid flinched. Even with resistance he wasn't expecting, Derek's tongue found a way to lure the doctor's parted mouth.

Reid made a sound akin to a whimpering moan. He loved and hated it at the same time. So he kissed back hesitantly, slowly, then aggressively.

As soon as their tongues had brushed one another, Reid clung to his only chance. He couldn't bare to face Morgan, closing his eyes and demanding a deeper and more meaningful kiss. He was already here, he wasn't about to let Derek slip away now.

Derek made a noise between pressed lips as Reid over took control.

He had kissed Reid on a whim as the doctor played out an anxiety attack. Honestly, he hadn't thought any of this out, he didn't have the time. His actions were spontaneous, but with no regret. Somehow after all this time, it felt right. Like there was nothing he could have done otherwise. It was as perfect as it was awkward.

It had been a huge shocker, mostly for the boy genius. It had worked; Spencer dumbfounded and forgetting to breathe. His hyperventilating ceased as did his mind. Spencer had braced himself, the shock not lasting long, leaving Derek at a disadvantage.

Reid's chest ached, begged, that this was actually happening. He didn't think he'd be able to handle another reality after this. His fingers moved tracing their way up the other's arms to his shoulders. God he loved him. He loved Derek Morgan so very much. He was tired of hiding it.

"Im sorry..."

Derek was a little confused with the muttered words between their kissing. What was there to be sorry about? He'd finally came to the conclusion he wanted Reid to be more than a friend, so what could he possibly be sorry for?

"I love you..."

Reid let a tear well and trace over his right cheek and Derek was there instantly. He hushed the brunet as he roamed fingers gently over the other's face. He kissed him again before responding.

"No, Im sorry. I'm sorry I was such a coward."

Lips caressed each other; soft and gentle, warm and smooth. It was exactly how Derek imagined how it would feel. Although Reid's lips were just as tender as the next girl's, it had something more; a quiver of unease, the curving of happiness, and a mix of indecisive dominance.

This time as their lips met again it was intentional.

It wasn't until Morgan opened his eyes, the ones he didn't remember closing in the first place, did he see the dazed expression on the kid's face. Half lidded and content, Spencer was deep within his own mind.

"Reid..." Derek tried to murmur between the kisses, his own grin curving against Reid's demanding ones. "We need to..." a second application of compressed kissing pressure was placed over his attempts, albeit weak ones. As much as he was amused, they needed to stop.

"Reid," he pulled away with a deep and quiet chuckle. Only then did the doctor zone back in, the pleasant make out hitching it's end. Who was this guy to be so cute? Who was he to be calling a grown man cute? It didn't really matter anymore. He was finally taking initiative to show his new desires.

"You okay now?"

Reid nodded twice before shaking his head. No he wasn't alright. He didn't understand what was going on. First he was confessing, prepared for rejection. Then Rachel barrels in shouting and attacking him. His body quivered at the last thought that ran through his mind before hitting the floor.

The coffin. He was thrown back into that closed space, his hands shaking with the newly rising panic attack. Derek noticed Reid's grip slip down and tighten on his arm. He pulled him close. "Reid, whatever it is your mind is thinking of, it's over, you're here now. Im right here Pretty-boy."

Reid's head bowed. Morgan's words seemed to have been effective as the man stopped shivering. Moments passed, Reid being held in an awkward forward lean onto his crush's chest. Tilting his head up Reid pulled back, a messed up mop of hair revealing most his features.

"You knew."

Morgan was a little lost in conversation, not sure what Spencer was referring to. He scanned the other's eyes for a reflection of emotion, one he was translating as a mix of hurt with a gloomy under tow.

"What's wrong?"

What was wrong? What else could be wrong? There were so many things Spencer found upside down and backwards in this situation.

"You knew before I confessed..."

Derek's attentive gaze flickered a moment as if admitting to the accusation. He did know. That Spencer liked him. Loved him. He hadn't noticed it before of course, not until Phil blurted out the declaration for the genius.

"Who else knows?" he asked slightly bitter.

Derek remained quiet for a long moment until an angry Reid stared him down. There was no way he could lie to the kid, but the truth would hurt him more. He drew in a long sigh.

"Rossi.

Hotch probably knows too."

"-and me..." came the sweet and nervous voice of Penelope. She looked guilty and unsure if she should have left or stayed at this point. "I tried knocking," she pointed in her defence. "Then I saw the both of you on the floor..." her voice trailed softer the more she spoke a small hued blush upon her cheeks.

She wouldn't admit it now, it wasn't the time, but she was totally pro-Reid.

"I'm just going to... ah... leave..." her unsure voice replied before she wobbled in her high heels, turning around faster than her legs would allow. This was between those two not her, besides there was a fuming wife outside that she was positive would be keying Derek's car. She'd do them all a favor and drive her where-ever it was she needed to go.

There was silence once Garcia had escaped out the exit, closing the door behind her. Reid's heart raced with unknown force.

They knew. They all practically knew. How could this of happened? What was going on? Derek, Garcia, Hotch, and Rossi. They all were just watching him struggle?

How could he? How could Derek toy with him like this? He was a total he sitting around and enjoying himself this whole time? He asked him to be his best man, did he know then as well? It was too much.

What of the others? How could he face anyone now? Hotch, thinking back, he was likely the only one supporting his turmoil from the start. While the others were just watching him, Hotch was the only one to actually try to comfort his troubles.

He could see himself forgiving Aaron, but Derek? No. Not after this. Not after ripping his heart out, trampling on it, and then shoving it back in his face. He didn't want anything to do with him now. Misunderstanding or not, Morgan was the enemy.

████████ **From the Author ████████**

aslkjdhf I've been trying to write this chapter for nearly two weeks now. I really wanted to give you all some MXR loving, but there was no way I could force myself to up and have them do it in the kitchen with Rachel outside. It's too soon for full on lovin in my mind.

Again, sorry for the wait.

**Love your Jeggy**


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